Happy Birthday, Dave Barry, born 3 July 1947
12 Funny Dave Barry Quotes
- Panicky despair is an underrated element of writing.
- It is inhumane, in my opinion, to force people who have a genuine medical need for coffee to wait in line behind people who apparently view it as some kind of recreational activity.
- A sense of humor is a measurement of the extent to which we realize that we are trapped in a world almost totally devoid of reason. Laughter is how we express the anxiety we feel at this knowledge.
- The only really good place to buy lumber is at a store where the lumber has already been cut and attached together in the form of furniture, finished, and put inside boxes.
- It is a well-documented fact that guys will not ask for directions. This is a biological thing. This is why it takes several million sperm cells… to locate a female egg, despite the fact that the egg is, relative to them, the size of Wisconsin.
- People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
- Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet.
- We journalists make it a point to know very little about an extremely wide variety of topics; this is how we stay objective.
- If you have a big enough dictionary, just about everything is a word.
- When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that individual is crazy.
- Don’t you wish you had a job like mine? All you have to do is think up a certain number of words! Plus, you can repeat words! And they don’t even have to be true!
- Hobbies of any kind are boring except to people who have the same hobby. This is also true of religion, although you will not find me saying so in print.
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